The Hippy Shake?

Gah, why do I find it so hard to admit to a fibro day? I find it so horribly difficult to just hold my hands up and say "hey world, today is tough" . I am so afraid of my own negativity. I am a happy go luck sort much of the time. My cup runeth over. I count my blessings (of which there are many). I worry if I let even a splash of negativity spill out I will head down a long and slippery slope of self pity.
Well this is not self pity. In no way am I sitting here saying poor me. I do suffer with fibro and I do find it hard some days but I also know how good I have it. I am so, so very rich in other ways (and believe me it isn't money ;))
But today I feel rough. I hurt and I am not doing well. My joints ache, my muscles burn, but most of all I shake. I cannot deal with stress. These last couple of days/weeks/months have been stressful and it is hurting me. My stress presents itself as physical pain and I feel like I have been hit by a bus. My hands feel so swollen I cannot clench them. Yet I look at them and they are just my normal everyday hands. I tried pouring a colleague and friend, T a cup of coffee today. He is a dear and wonderful older man. He knows of my troubles and knows how I worry about appearing less than capable in front of acquaintances. Despite my nearly dropping the cup and getting more coffee over the table than in in his cup. He mearly reached over and steadied my hand. He did not even skip a beat in conversation. Not even making eye contact. It was much later when he said "so tell me sweetheart, how are you coping" He is a good man. For all of this I am grateful. There is still a part of me however that is very aware I had to be assisted by a man in his 70's to do a simple task like pour a cup of coffee. Where will this end?